We don't make mistakes twice. We make them four or five times just to be sure.

Hey, you!

Welcome to soupwhale! We specialize in offering flexible shell accounts with "helpful" administrators for little or no cost to you.

Our server is financed by some company that doesn't know they're financing us and we break everything constantly

The user 'johnwittle' on is, in fact, gay.

Free Tier

Interested in a free 10GB shell account?

Have an invite key?

(610) 602-1200

If you don't have an invite key and aren't a total fag, join us in IRC at #soupwhale on so we can hassle you for a while and then still probably not give you an invite. A preconfigured IRC client is available on the signup page by clicking the IRC link


Premium accounts are cool. You get a lot of cool stuff with them. Do you want to be cool? Now, for a limited time only, cool is just a click away.

  • 100GB Diskspace
  • Bragging rights
  • Netflix trial
  • Become popular

Now What?

Got your account and want to learn the basics? Check out our Getting Started pages (which have been broken for literally years actually work now nigger oh shit) to find out how.